If you know me, then you would understand. You would understand why I would buffer (sikit je) of my real behaviour to the new people who come into my life. Of course kan, not everybody can understand crazy. However, that I do only because I feel that it is my duty to spare the aliens from feeling uncomfortable and having thoughts like, "Erm, why am I here talking to her again?", repeating in their minds while pretending to smile over cold coffee. 

Why do we do that? Hiding our true selves behind polite conversations? Or are the dramas and excitements should be reserved to those who would appreciate them only?

Maybe that's what close friends and families are for. They provide a safety net where you can walk the wire and jump the bridge without getting hurt. They know what you are good for. Hell, if they've seen you fall before, they will know when to catch you next.

Best kan. I feel so free if I can be myself at all times. Free like a bird. Flying around without care, knowing that people can see my underneath.

All in all, although I am almost against judging a book by its cover, I think it is just right to show them the kind-love-able person that you are first before revealing the crazy-and-disturbed-but-definitely-still-love-able side of you. Like my mum always say to me, "kalau tak nak ikut norm, pergi duduk dalam gua." 

Funny, I am yet to find that gua. Or maybe my home is my gua? I should write an entry on that alone. This gua thing. Got to ask my mum to elaborate. If I really do go and stay in a gua like she always say, do I only go there for cover but still go out to meet the community, or would I be cut off from civilization altogether? 

Ma?

And for the new friends that i suddenly have ni, don't be afraid. Well, at least not much. :) I don't bite, often