200

silent night
holy night
all is calm
all is bright
sleep in heavenly peace
sleep in heavenly peace.

over to you eddie

When two people know that they are going their separate ways, for reasons that are probably obvious or at times maybe not; one of those two would probably ask for closure. Closure, which is an act or process of closing something, has become an accessory for breaking up.

"You can't leave me, we have no closure".

What is there to close? Is it the heart that has opened up and given freely and when a significant other leaves, and it leaves a gaping hole?



"You're leaving just like that? You're not going to tell me why?"
"(I need a fucking closure)".

A simple 'because...' could probably covers whatever that is exposed to what the bearer think is hurt and shame, for at least awhile.

But why do we need closure to confirm that something has already ended, when in fact we know that it is already over?

Lulu believes that one can have closure without having an explanation from the other person. One can close whatever that is needed to be closed, by merely having to bury a body part while reciting a mantra.

Eddie thinks that this is silly, but does it anyway. He likes to amuse his sister. But to what extent?

Finally

It is wonderful to realize how hurtful feelings can be so beautifully expressed. When an eye squints ever so slightly it is often missed. And always when cheeks tremble in the attempt to hold back roaring tears, they are mistaken to be caused, by the cold draft that was never there. I close my eyes now to remember the beautiful moments that I have been fortunate enough to have lived through in the past years of my young life.



God knows how I wish to be able to express the rumble in my heart ever more freely. If I am not afraid of physical pain, my skin would bear the proof of release. Because perhaps with every drop of blood, an inch of the soreness subsides. But pray tell!, what sufferings can top the aches of a quiet heart?

Favor me with good will please, by assembling all of my acquaintances. If before no word leaves my lips, let them see the sentences that I am able to compose by my actions. Or simply, by my being.

And today I am being. The person whom people choose to not really see. The girl who knows when beauty be. For it is she. Who is now walking into the sea.

I am always, my beauty.

Sekerat

I hold on to the unspoken
sums and hums

I am holding
on what's rotten

hall of fame

it is when sleep defies me,
that i am reminded of it all.
of the storm outside the windows
when the eyelash flutters;
of the awaken nights
and throbbing slumber;
of sniffs and snuffs
inside the chamber;
of painful cuts
never to remember;
of wild flowers tick
that stops soon after;
songs of unwritten
not meant to be tender;
of lies and deceits
of slave and master;
of walks in the rain
at the end of winter;
and boundless figure
of the little god father;
the twirls and turns
of every day's prayer;
and the little secret
of every new year;
of magenta bloom
that forces the splendor;
and
the stricken drama
that's tucked in the drawer.

Tasek Lagenda

"Lala lalala lalalalala."
"Lala lalala lalalalala."

I am feeling quite "lala" today. Thus, I was singing the lala tune of The Smurfs while making my usual round at the tasik of Lagenda. Well, okay. I have to confess, it has been a while since I last jogged here. Heck, I am not even jogging today. I am stuffed to the brim after eating Japanese food with my sister a while ago, and out of guilt I am trying to walk off the feeling of being too full after eating more than I should have.

Phone vibrates and a text message pops out,

"Are you there already? I am already nearby."

Yeay. She is coming after all. I send a "YES" reply and wait patiently for her arrival.

"Lala lalala lalalalala."

I continue to "lala" until I hear,

"Da!" and then someone hugs me from behind.

"Am I late?"



I turn around to face Diba and quickly look at my pocket watch which hangs from my neck.

"Not at all, you are right on time. It should appear in a few minutes."

At that both of us stand in silence looking towards the murky water in the middle of the lake. Sure enough after a few minutes, it emerges with all its glory. The golden Naga of Tasik Lagenda . But only long enough to validate its existence.

"Wow."

"Yes, tell me about it. I hate the fact that it never appears when someone else is around. How can we make people believe us?"

"Maybe it is just meant for us to know."

I look hard into Diba's eyes and when she blinks repeatedly I just smile.

"Maybe for now. Before this it did not want to appear when I first brought you here. After awhile, it did. Maybe the naga needs to sense whom it can trust before making an appearance."

"Maybe."

unparalleled junkie II

junkie dearie
kiss me in my dreams

when i sleep beautifully
and when you see me smile pretty

junkie honey
hold me from my squirms

when i sigh of heavens
don't let me go

tell me all
that you know.

romeo to juliet

it's pure poison.

do you like it?

level

come
down the ladder
from the pedestal