happy new year

can you hear me smile
across the line

can you clear the pile
and just be mine

to play with.

Three weddings and a Ho Ho Ho. (Last Tribute to jA).

I love Christmas. Not really sure why, but I like looking at the elaborate decorations and also the songs. Christmas songs are fun. I wish I can listen to Christmas songs all year long on the radio. I'm too lazy to download them myself and put them on my playlist. I'd love to have them burned on a CD for me. Thank you!

And Ja, she is now officially married, to Jumy! Congratulations!



Ja, I know I was supposed to read the speech on our side's reception, but the truth was, I didn't have the guts. I'm sure I'd break down and cry, I'm sure you would too. Since with a simple post on my blog about us pun, you'd call me crying already. I wrote it on the night before the reception.

I'm kinda glad that Taymen made me say something at the the wedding reception on Jumy's side. I know half of the short speech by heart anyways. The things that I so wanted to tell you. But then, I wished i could have read everything, and also wished that I could have seen your face while giving the speech, I didn't. Someone was too tall!

This is everything.

Assalamualaikum dan selamat sejahtera kepada semua hadirin, friends and family. Thank you for being here with us tonight.

This will be a really short speech from me, a tribute to Ja.

Me and Ja, we were very very close. We used to do a lot of things together, silly, fun stupid things. I guess the usual things that sisters do. One look from each other and we can burst out laughing like crazy.

Owh, people always say that we sound the same on the phone so we tend to trick our friends by pretending to be each other. It was like a test, whether or not the person knew us well enough. Needless to say, Jumy passed the test.

Congratulations to Ja and Jumy, for making it this far. I trust that you guys will cherish every moment that you will spend together.

Ja, we always talk about how we cannot imagine living our lives apart. But do you remember when we first moved to Bukit Jelutong, we couldn't imagine sleeping in separate rooms and we talked about making a hole in the wall so that our rooms will be connected. Back in Bukit Damansara we have always shared a room with our beds only an inch apart and we say our goodnights after switching off the lights, but then we learned now to say our goodnights at our doors. That was not so hard wasn't it?

I'm going to recite a poem for you tonight. It is from a movie, "In Her Shoes" that you asked me to watch, because you cried after watching it. The movie was about two sisters, and this poem was recited at one of the sister's wedding day.


I carry your heart with me
by E.E. Cummings


I carry your heart with me (I carry it in
My heart) I am never without it (anywhere
I go you go, my dear; and whatever is done
By only me is your doing, my darling)

I fear
No fate (for you are my fate, my sweet) I want
No world (for beautiful you are my world, my true)
And it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
And whatever a sun will always sing is you

Here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(Here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
And the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows
Higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)
And this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

I carry your heart (I carry it in my heart).



I love you Ja.

And Jumy, welcome to the family.

We cannot turn back time

Have you ever felt so numb that you feel four times as thick than you actually are? Thick fingers holding a book, thick cheeks on your face, and thick toes in your mismatched socks. The whole of you is so thick that you are like the marshmallow man, just existing without a neck, only not as white. And your tongue, so thick that your mouth feels swollen with the thought of it, just being.

Thick, thick, thick.

Vomit Love

She vomits love
on my shoulder
when i hold her close

She vomits love
in my hands
when i offer her my heart

She vomits everything
everywhere
when I say goodbye.

Holiday Not In Goa

I call this a holiday. Not in Goa.

Why is it that we imagine that the air is different elsewhere, from where we are used to?

Is it true?

Is it because the number of population is different thus, releasing a different amount of carbon dioxide or the number of cars are different thus, releasing a different amount of carbon monoxide?

And trees are more there than here, and factories are less here than there.

Was there a time at all that air was exactly the same everywhere?

They say, change is sometimes for the best.