"So you're saying that he's writing his memoir?"

"Yes Inspector."

"And your complaint is.."

"Don't you see it? He is purposely making me sick, to add on in his memoir! Drama!"

"That's a bit far fetched don't you think?"

"Well, he is a writer."

"And you?"

"I write as well."

"You've been reading recently?"

"Yes, of course. Why do you ask?"

"Ma'am, I'd like to advice you to avoid reading mysteries. At least until you're feeling better." With that I saw him glance towards my current read, The Big Four from Agatha Christie's collection, on the table.

"You think I'm making this up?"

"Well.."

"You think I'm crazy don't you?!"

"Sorry Ma'am, I have to go now. Duty calls."

Liquid. That is the only word that I feel, is best to describe him. His ever smooth approach is legendarily liquid. "Do you think he ever had a girl buddy? I surely cannot imagine it!" She shrieks to me. I have to look to the left and right, afraid that other patrons will find us distasteful. A young boy is peering at me over his thick Harry Potter book. Nerd.

"But seriously," she adds with a serious look. "He's not even that good looking. But girls go gaga over him like he's God or something."

You go gaga over him, like you're doing right now. And the man is not even here. Sheesh.

"Witchcraft, that's what I think he's using."

Typical ego comeback, you fall for someone ugly, okay that's quite mean let's use not so pretty or handsome, and you accuse them of using witchcraft.

But then again, I cannot deny that. I almost fell for him too. What am I saying, I did fall for him. And he was so nice to create a beautiful elaborate lie and waited for everything to simmer down on its own.

I hate him.

But I don't.

Damn, that asshole.

But he's a nice guy.

"Are you going to finish that?"

I pushed my bowl of Maggi noodles towards her. I don't think I can eat while my stomach is doing little flip-flops.

As the rain falls hard on the zinc rooftop, Edel's fingers gripe on to her thick blanket, she shakes while trying to escape an undesirable dream. Just as the thunder shakes their house to a soft rumble, her eyes flew open.

"She was here, wasn't she?"

"Hm...? What honey?" Kreya's right hand moves blindly to find Edel, while her eyelids still shut.

"She was here, that night. When you said she wasn't." Edel is now sitting up straight in bed, face as cold as a slab of black stone in a river.

Only realizing that Edel was really serious in this morning conversation, Kreya pulls up her part of the blanket and sighs loudly. Edel remains motionless, waiting for Kreya's answer. Without having to coax her further, Kreya breathes a "Yes.." from under the blanket.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I didn't want to hurt you. But it was almost a year ago. How did you suddenly.."

"I had a dream. Don't ever lie to me again." And at that Edel continues to sleep.

It must be nice to sleep in the morning while it rains, Kreya thought as she watches Edel nodding towards slumber. Annoyed, for she sure won't be able to sleep now. How she wishes she is not dating a witch.

"Who are you?"

"Who am I? Well, erm macam ni. Actually, it doesn't require you or anyone, including me, to have any belief of who I am. Do you know that every belief is in fact an obstacle?"

"Huh?"

"Like when you say that you like reading more than talking. Would it limit you to talk more than reading one day?"

"Huh?"

"Susahnya. Ok, macam ni. Imagine kalau ..."

"Eh, I nak tahu you ni siapa? Tiba-tiba muncul dalam my room? Who let you in? Oh no, are you a burglar aren't you? Maaaa!!!......"

"Shh. Shh. Bukan, saya bukan perompak."

"Then who the hell are you?!"

"Like I said tadi, kita tak perlu...."

"Oh shut up already. What's your name? Ke takde jugak? Your mum chose not to label you with anything?"

"Ada, ada. My mum tak tahu menahu tentang this new age crap."

"You mean, the things you were mumbling about tadi?"

"Yes, yes."

"You think it's crap?"

"No, you see, I choose not to put label to my thoughts, whether I think certain things are ..."

"Eh, sudahlah. Nama apa? Nama? Mak tak bagi nama ke?"

"Eh, leave my mum out of this. By the way, nama saya Idrus. Nice to meet you."

"Gila kampung. Nama Idrus."

"I beg to differ. What you think about one's name, whether it is glamer, or kampung, actually ..."

"Senyap, boleh tak?"

Idrus finally shuts up. Aina sits on her bed, legs straight, hair messed up from sleep, shoulders slouched.

They were silent for a while.

Until Idrus slowly puts up his hand, and Aina moves her head in a questioning manner as in "what?".

"Sampai bila kita nak senyap je ni?"

"Huh."

"Asyik mengeluh je? Are you okay?"

Aina stands up, in a pair of reddish pink pyjamas, gives Idrus an annoying look, and put both of her hands up in frustration. Then she walks to her working table, put on her glasses and opens her laptop.

"Awak, saya cakap dengan awak. Bakpe gong sangak ni?"

"Eh, why do you care hah? I don't even know who you are!"

Aina was about to say something else but her phone rang. She puts up a finger, index, to Idrus, as if asking to wait for a minute and answers her phone.

"Yes Ma, Ma dok tido lagi ke? No, no, I had a bad dream. Sorry to have waken you up. Ye, ye, nok tido la ni. Nite."

Aina sighs again elaborately and began typing slowly on her keyboard.

After a while, she stops and walks back to her bed and lie down.

Idrus tip-toes to her working table and looks at her laptop screen. Then he sits down and reads out loud.

"Kenapa bulan
kamu makin kejam
hadirmu sudah tidak indah
kenapa dibawanya kelam?"

"Oh, poor girl. Are you heart broken?"

Aina is already sobbing, face down on her pillow.

Let's go have cendol this morning dear?

Let's. (Smiles.)

I remember the trip to the ghost castle, which left all of us trembling with fear. Well, at least two of us were quite shaken. The third girl, she was quite composed about it. And, she was quite cute too.

I wonder if she'll be quite cute too, tonight.

"I think I want to live among the dead." He sentenced his thought out loud.

"I think I have one with me now." She said.

"Really? Who is it?"

"It has no name. It's not meant to be named. I think it was the one who went away and came back recently."

"Hm. Are you going to name it?"

"No. It is just it. No name. No face either. Just it. You know? It."

"I don't actually."

"Then you're not ready to be among the dead."

Dear Bobby II,

How are you? Hope you are doing fine. I know, I haven’t had the time to visit you since I last sent you there. I’m sorry, but my life is catching up on me. Like tomorrow, which is a Sunday by the way, I have three appointments to attend to! Breakfast with someone from work, lunch with my ex-classmate from high school and dinner with this guy I met at the train station yesterday. Yes, life is okay at this point. As you know, I love to keep myself busy at all times.

Bobby II,

Are you still mad at me? The last time we were face to face, we weren’t eye to eye. No, you know what I meant. Not because I am slightly shorter than you! You love to tease me on that don’t you? Well, tease me all you want. You know I don’t mind. But back to the subject. I hope you understand that what I did, was best for everyone. Especially us.

Bobby II,

You know how I adore you. You know I’d smell the grass that you walk on. And you know that I’d style my hair to your liking. And now, I certainly do miss you. Now all I can do is smell the grass and flowers that hide you from this cruel evil world.

Oh Bobby II,

I got to go. My phone keeps ringing. Another soul is trying to annoy me tonight. But I will make it right. I will make this world a better place. =)

Bye Bobby II dear,

Don’t let the bugs bite.

This is my story. Mine. Not yours. Not his. Not hers. Totally mine. Don't you dare to even think that it is similar to yours, or hers, or his. Because I wouldn't believe you.

I would never believe you. I don't believe in anything. I don't believe in anyone. But myself. I am the only reason I am still alive. I am my only friend, my only mentor, my only love.

Love. 

A blissful act of giving selflessly. And I shower myself with immeasurable love, with every breath that I take. With every sight that I see, and every sound that I hear, I fall more and more in love with me. Because I have an ultimate dependency on myself. My strength.

I was once told that once you have gone through the worst, nothing can ever stop you from achieving anything. And I, I have been there, to the lowest of low, and the bottom of all bottoms. 

And when I was there, there were no other souls around.

Saya sebatang pen hitam, buatan gombak. Selepas siap melalui proses pembuatan, saya dimasukkan ke dalam sebuah kotak bersama 99 batang pen yang lain. Selepas itu, saya tidak tahu apa yang terjadi kerana persekitaran menjadi gelap.

Selepas beberapa minggu di dalam kegelapan, saya ternampak secebis cahaya di hujung kotak. Kononnya seperti ada orang hendak membuka kotak tersebut. Saya gembira! Saya sabar menanti. Tetapi cahaya itu hanya secebis itu sahaja sehingga beberapa minggu lagi. Saya hampa. 

Sehinggalah pada suatu hari yang muram, kotak itu dibuka, dan saya bersama rakan-rakan pen yang lain disusun di rak jualan pen. Sungguh bergaya. Kami mula berkawan dengan pen-pen jenis lain, dan membuat andaian siapa yang akan pergi dahulu.

Selepas dua hari berpesta di rak jualan pen, ada seorang budak lelaki datang pada suatu lewat pagi, berdiri di hadapan rak jualan pen. Matanya bersinar melihat semua pen yang ada, dan entah mengapa hati saya pula yang berdebar-debar. Selepas dua saat, tangannya mencapai ke arah saya dan membawa saya ke arah sekeping kertas yang diletakkan di rak untuk cuba-guna. 

Kerana saya suka akan budak ini, saya dengan rela hati mengeluarkan dakwat yang paling cantik, sekaligus mencantikkan tulisannya yang agak buruk, untuk menarik perhatiannya. Berjaya! Saya dibawa ke kaunter bayaran dan kemudian dia membawa saya pulang.

Namanya John. Dia sering menggunakan saya untuk menulis namanya di atas kertas peperiksaan. Dia seorang budak sekolah darjah lima, yang menurut perhatian saya tidak mempunyai kawan. Tapi dia sering menulis namanya. John. John. John. Saya tidak pernah bosan.

John mempunyai seekor kucing hitam yang sakit. Saya pernah melihat kucing-kucing lain semasa di kilang dan kedai, tetapi kucing ini sedikit berlainan. Dia tidak boleh melihat. Dia mengharapkan John untuk segalanya. John sangat setia, sering memandikan kucing itu, membawanya ke tempat makan dan mengorek tanah untuk kucing itu apabila kucing itu perlu buang air. Kucing itu bernama Shall.

Walaupun sakit, Shall suka bermain. Saya cuba untuk bermain dengan Shall, tetapi dia terkena mata pena saya dan kakinya berdarah. John sungguh marah dan baling saya ke dinding. Dia membawa Shall ke klinik haiwan. 

John juga separa buta. Saya sebenarnya tidak dibaling ke dinding. Itu hanya anggapannya. Saya termasuk ke dalam bilik adik John yang berumur sembilan tahun. Dia mengutip saya dan memakaikan saya riben ungu. Saya suka. Adik John bernama Nancy. Dia sangat cantik, tetapi sedikit gila. Dia menggunakan saya untuk menconteng dinding biliknya dengan kata-kata indah. Saya sangat suka.

Apabila dakwat saya habis, Nancy menyimpan saya di dalam sebuah laci, bersama 99 batang pen yang lain. Semuanya diikat dengan riben ungu.

Syurga. Saya sayang Nancy.